14.

IM SICK.
of everything, except you.
took the best bike ride ever.
in the rain at 4am.
im not full, rumblerumble.
OOOPS, I DID IT AGAIN.
i don't like you, boys are dumb.
i like you though.
call me that, again, stop.
you are perfect, please rescue me.
i'm here, you're there.
where is there, just stop hiding.
i won't say a word, you promised.
lies are in your mouth, on your tongue.
i rip it out, bleed to death.
start new, look up, brand new.
i'm only here to make you nervous.
you're not here, you are there.




drop dead
666

15.

no feeling, i have none at this point.
i'm boiling over, i'm burnt out.
i hate what is happening.
i need to get away, come save me.
one last time.
i am gone, i am not coming back.
you wish i was kidding.
i wish i could leave.
i cant keep my eyes open.
everything is gone.
""where am i, can you help me.
can you help yourself.
i want you to leave now.
come back when i need you.
why did you go. ""
you've mastered destruction.
you are the end.
I AM YOUR BEGGING
i want things to change, unfortunate.
throw me into the sea.



eyesclosed
666

16.

FUCK

i love my spotted cow felix.
he makes me happy.
not really, i suck at this.
i feel one thing right now.
why?
chicken sandwich.
i can't spell right now,
spell check!
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
GO AWAY.



downstairs
666

17.

HATE; HATE; HATE.
DON'T LIKE ANYONE.
YOU I LIKE, YOU ALONE.
MAYBE ADD A FEW.
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW, WOULD YOU.
YOU'RE WIDE EYED AND ALONE.
ARE YOU? OR ARE YOU NOT.
CAN YOU SEE ME WHEN YOU CLOSE MY EYES.
TRICK, YOU CAN'T CLOSE MY EYES.
I CAN'T SEE YOU. YOU ARE EVERYWHERE.
FALLING OFF AND DOWN, UP SIDE, FLIP.
CORRECT ME IF IM RIGHT.
I AM YOU.



FELIX THE RAT
666

18

getting my mind:
blowed, blown, blew.
past tense; future.
make up some crazy words.
tell a few lies.
live you're lies to the fullest.
you're life is over, you have nothing.
you made it up, i ended you.
if i could i would, you know who you are.
or do you? want a hint.
you are your self.
you are pathetic.
congratulations.

i have begun.
i listen then write.
you speak with words.
i use syllables, i don't make sense.
you wish you understood.
i wish this would go away.
the throbbing ache in my head.
pop more pills.
lets say vitamins.
that's what they are, but they aren't.
calm down, take a deep breathe.
this will be over shortly.
i only want to hurt you.
you never cared if i did, why didn't you.
you felt nothing, i wish i could feel.
blacking out the fiction.
dizziness; trauma.


gone
666

19

QUICKLY; you're fucked.
you are fucked.
i have not changed : i haven't changed.
change isn't present with me.
no thanks.
i collect coins. in a jar. with flowers.
i get judged, i judge; who. fucking. cares.
i am not the same i am a martian.
music is pretty cool. who cares, fucking.
i hate length, college is long : college is long.
you wish, i did, not now. house is on television.
you know, you know, please tell me.
i am insecure, i seek, ha, useless word.
comma, comma, splice, comma.
what do i want to be when i grow up?
tell me, you have 5 minutes.
useless, unless answered, useless.
you are.
do you get angry with me.
can i help you, sway your vote, keep you away.
i don't care enough to care.
no. no. no.
STOP IT!
give me feeling, fuck facial expressions.
you can't trust anyone, can you, can i?
when i want something i get it, stop giving it to me.
if i was a male you would praise me, no sexism, false.
you wish i had a conscience, i wish you had a conscience.
wishes don't come true, floating away.

map quest my house, my thoughts are as followed.
the best part about this weekend while in Richmond was:
1. Seeing strangers, and complete strangers.
2. Crushing on my crush, crushed my self.
3. If i had a checklist i completed one thing.
4. Not caring what happens. not caring, not shit.
BEST PART; riding ambers bike in the snow to 711.
felt so damn good. my body was at ease with my elusive mind.
cut the rope, im free. you're not, caught, dangling, useless.

what do you want to be when you grow up?
did i help you, i think i told you the answer.
with my second statement or third, may be four th.
faggot.
i like double letters, i am cringing.
stop, save, now, i need, you, it, now.


faulty
666

20

fuck the world with protection.
i hate everyone and every fucking thing.
Control yourself; Take only what you need from him.

damn it. don't understand.
why can't i get it right.
i like the feeling of not feeling.
my mind is a mess, i don't need it.
i don't care about anyone.
not sure why.
really don't give a shit.
if i like you i won't kiss you. ill be to scared.
i will be tense and uncomfortable.
ill be on my toes, trying not to do anything wrong.
i hate nice guys, die please. creepy ass.
i dislike many things, especially happy.
is that why i can't be.
not true; i am happy with my friends.
not true.
EURT.
i'm not in the mood right now.
i get bored easily, i want to stop.
love watching house, it is amazing.
i want to embrace death, i want to live it.
experience it once.
i love the snow, and cold. water; liquid.
down stairs; lab coats; throbbing; tears.
purple, purple, purple, everywhere.
YOU DID THIS.
i wanted you to, can i have you.
trick me into loving you, promise?
i'm not where i want to be.
cold feet, no socks. 5 pairs.
LIARS, you are one, a liar?
yes; fucking pig, not really; you.
i don't feel like answering my phone or talking.
leave me alone. go away. stop caring.
just for this week i want to be alone.
i lied to myself, im worthless.
what have i done, why did i do it. i didn't even like it.
bloody faces, purple faces, hands held.
rip it out, crush it. floor is clean.
long list, im over this.
next week it will be old news.
one week to hide.


i fail
666