up all night throw it away.

i cry everytime i read those words.
goodbye, i cant do this anymore, it hurts to much.
The Early November- Never Coming Back
(your gone and your never coming back again)
xoxo
<3

home

home is where the heart is.
that is what they say.
what if your heart is missing?
what happens when you realize you've had enough?
talking about death soothes my soul.
its not as though i myself am dying just my body.
the outer me is not who i am.
i am my soul, i am trapped.
trapped in this world and in this body.
i cannot see myself growing old.
is that because i am not meant to?
sometimes i day dream about seeing you up there.
i want to visit you so bad, i wish it would kill me.
i want this to be over with but i am not going to force said action to happen.
my soul is getting weak, rotting inside this desolate body.
i want to abandon this body and leave this place for good.


forever and always,
xoxo

welcome

to depression.
for the next few days, this is me.
sitting alone, living alone, being alone.
no joy comes to those that live here.
the people here are quite content though.
they say i'll feel right at home.
i believe them.
miscellaneous suicides happen right outside your window
but you say nothing, you just wish it was you.
you let that person free themselves while you watch in awe.
the feeling of completion is like chicken noodle soup-
for the soul.


xoxo

2010

i need to think this through.
this is my life we're talking about.
too many racing thoughts
not enough rum
cheers to the new year.
if you're not in my life now
you got time to be



xoxo

leaving

In four days i will be gone.
thank you, thank you.
seeing my aunt for christmas.
getting away from this shitty place
and all the shitty people here.
moving out date is almost set in stone.
better to hold it in so i don't jink anything.

''at least pretend you didn't want to get caught."

D14

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
I'm thankful to those helping me through this.



xoxo

D7

my aunt has cancer.
her heart is getting weaker.
she can't eat, she's 95lbs.
a machine is keeping her alive at this point.
- get better, please, please get better.
i don't want you to feel this way anymore.
all i can do now is pray for her well being
and send my blessings.


i love you.
xoxo